US Foods in Melbourne

I miss going to the grocery store and recognizing brands. For example, I always buy Gold brand four. Maybe there is no difference in the quality of Gold brand flour versus generic flour produced by US grocers like Giant/Harris Teeter/Whole Foods or Kroger. But, I know I like it. My parents always used it. Brand recognition makes for quick shopping.

Even with the increased cost of living in Australia, perhaps I'm actually saving money when I grocery shop here. I don't have brand recognition and familiarity triggering me to buy pricier brand names for easily substitutable goods, which is a good thing. However, there is something nice about not having to google things continually while shopping.

Just the other day I went to buy corn starch. I'm used to corn starch being easy to locate. In the States it would have taken finding a red cylinder of Rumford cornstarch (not to be confused with their baking powder, which I also use) and grabbing it. 

My brother borrowed some cooking supplies for a summer semester at college. When he returned them, the biggest container of Rumford corn starch and Morton salt were amongst the pots and pans. It made me laugh - who would ever need this much corn starch and salt? But right about now, I did. I missed home.

Corn starch is mundane. Trivial. Something I read in recipes and grab without consideration. But now, I stood in front of boxes labelled corn flour - and new this was going to be another of those well-that-took-way-longer-than-necessary shopping moments. I searched and searched and corn starch was nowhere to be found. "Is corn flour substitutable for corn starch? What really is corn starch anyways?" I thought. "Could I determine the answer to these questions from the ingredients?" I wondered. I grabbed two boxes. One box of corn flour listed ingredients as "Maize Corn flour". Okay, way to repeat cornflour in the definition, not helpful! But at least I recognized maize as meaning from corn, which was on the right track. In contrast, the other box of corn flour said something about wheat and on the front noted that it "Contains Gluten", so now I was really confused.

After pulling out my phone to google Corn Starch vs Corn Flour ("X" vs "Y" is not an uncommon search for me to do while shopping here) and struggling with the slow data connection within the grocery store I discovered:

• Corn starch is a thickening agent preferred for certain sauces over flour because the sauces come out clear. (This made sense since I was attempting to replicate a Chinese meal I'd had in Melbourne, and the sauce was certainly supposed to be translucent).
• Corn starch, cornstarch, maize starch, AND corn flour are all names for the same thing - starch extracted from corn.
• Cornmeal is coarsely ground corn - and in some countries corn flour can actually mean finely ground cornmeal. However in the UK/Australia corn flour only refers to corn starch. {This was an issue when we were looking for cornmeal to make corn bread and actually needed ground corn not starch from corn.}
• Corn is an old word for grain. So, the word corn can actually be simply referring to grain, hence, Corned Beef Hash (Beef salted with wheat-kernel sized grains of salt).
• With the logic or corn <---> grain, Corn Flour in Australia can actually be Wheat Flour......You can extract starch from wheat the same way you can from corn.

After all this reading I realized I could buy Corn Flour, the one not made from wheat, and make my dish! I've decided at this point to chock up almost all grocery shopping experiences here as a learning experience. I rip away my assumptions - relearn - and in the process fill in gaps I never realized I had! I guess I also have to anticipate them being twice as long as expected.

All this exposure to new things on a daily basis can be really really tiring. From learning tram routes, to what a MYKI card is (a way to pay for trams). To getting comfortable with new phrases like 'Mackers' (pronounced Maccas, meaning McDonalds) and  'Ranga' (our new favorite a joking insult against red heads derived from the word orangutan). Even just having to learn to drive again - Matt has been a champ with the round abouts (I still need to learn!). Don't get me wrong, exposure to new things is also fun, and we love it here. But one day we got a nice reprieve from all this new stuff exposure.
With our trusty new a car, we took a trip to a magical world of imported US goods: USA Foods. I'd been to USA Foods once before, when a colleague drove me, to pick up some hot sauce for Matt's birthday. When we pulled up to the store we were pleasantly surprised that they had relocated down the block to a bigger and better location that was even more filled with delicious (mostly unhealthy) packaged goods.

Rounding one corner in the store I exclaimed "Oh my gosh, it's Rice A  Roni!!!!" My joy brought a laugh from a US Mom navigating the store with her family. She knew exactly where I was coming from. It's one of things things that you don't ever usually buy back home, but just seeing a familiar childhood brand made extremely happy. Just earlier I heard the same mom get excited by the Ben and Jerry's section and ask her kid if he saw Chubby Hubby anywhere in the freezer...

In place of the usual sound of parents saying "No", "Not today", "Put that back", "How did that get in here?!" to their kids for wanting to add Spaghettios and Capri Suns to the grocery cart, the parents themselves were wide eyed at the A&W root beer and Kraft Mac & Cheese.

Of course - I couldn't leave without stocking up on Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Thin Mints. The big display topped with USA Flags didn't help the temptation, but these are the candies I miss the most. Chocolate and peanut butter combos are definitely not a thing in Melbourne. Even the nice chocolate store by more work doesn't stock any chocolate/peanut butter truffles.

Lastly, I've realized my true dedication to Woolite. I am willing to pay twice as much as usual for it. It seems like Melbourne has NONE of the same cleaning products. I may not be as neat as Matt, but I definitely have my favorite, familiar, cleaning products. I got super excited when we saw this area:

We did however decide not to pay $15 for a box of dryer sheets. Speaking of - Matt realized that they don't sell dryer sheets in Australia, or at least in Melbourne. When we asked some of our Australian friends about dryer sheets they had no idea what we were talking out. If our current day jobs don't pan out, Matt and I plan to start a business to take advantage of these untapped differing markets. So far we are going to sell dryer sheets in Australia. In the US, we are going to sell hard liquor pre-mixed with soda in a can, like this Jim Bean Cola pictured on the left. In Australia you kind find something like this (Jack Daniels Cola is another popular one) at most bars, sporting events, and liquor stores. Some may say it isn't very elegant, but it is pretty handy!

Beyond just grocery shopping, the same food familiarity issue runs into restaurants as well. Sure, even when I'm in the United States I can't typically take a trip to Tequlia Rose in Williamsburg,Virginia for their white dipping sauce and chorizo chicken fajitas found at when a craving hits. However, there are solid Mexican food standbys in most US cities. For burgers, even if I'm not near Charlottesville, Virginia (home of the The White Spot and Riverside), or Austin, Texas (The Theta Burger at Huts Burgers is delicious), Five Guys will do the trick. If no Five Guys is around there is likely another local burger joint.


Enjoying a Five Guys Burger with Matt in Athens GA during our trip back to the States over the holidays

The Melbourne restaurant scene abounds with amazing Asian food, hidden cafes, delicious brunch spots - I could go on. However, it is lacking in some areas. I really miss going out for Margaritas (well, a standby Mexican place) or Burgers (well, classic Americana diner of some sort).

Let's start with finding Tex-Mex in Melbourne. Results have been rough. We discovered a vegetarian place called Trippy Taco's, which fills our goat cheese filled quesadilla desires. However, being vegetarian, there are no beef fajitas, or chicken burritos...etc. They also don't serve margaritas. Taco Bills was okay, but out experience has to be something akin to when Chinese people used to authentic home cooking try Americanized Chinese food (speaking of which, as amazing as Melbourne is for Asian cuisine, I can't find sesame chicken anywhere! It is simply a staple of Americanized Chinese food...).  Salsas, which even our Australian friends urged us to avoid, served incredibly disappointing nachos and burritos which were bland and stale. At Mad Mex, for some reason sour cream comes in liquid form. To Matt's credit - he has mastered cooking queso, enchiladas, and tacos. For this, I am forever in his debt.

On the burger front - while I can't say I haven't found good burgers, they are always a little different than what I'm used to. Beets are served on burgers. Beets. While actually surprising tasty, you can imagine that it doesn't quite fill that void of missing home.

So, you can understand how incredibly excited we were when our friends told us about a place called Misty's Diner. It is touted as serving all things American - with specials on Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July. We decided to go as a group with our Australian friends and another couple they know. When we walked in, we were excited by the decor. Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley posters watched over us on the walls. There were diner booths with jukeboxes. The waitresses wore classic pink and black waitressing uniforms. Alongside mayonaise and ketchup (not tomato sauce) stood bottles of BBQ sauce (BBQ isn't even found here).

Slowly however things began to be amiss. My Girl wasn't on the Jukebox. The menu seemed like it was taking on, well, quite a lot. Everything was to the extreme: fried, huge, and/or coated in cheese. Matt said "Oh no" and pointed to a picture on the menu. I looked and saw fried mozzarella sticks, put between buttered slabs of white bread, and fried again. Oh dear. We sensed that this place was US food on crack.

Still excited, we ordered milkshakes and a Sierra Nevada for Matt. While I have to say that the shakes were pretty good (though they slightly curdled by the end of the meal) the rest of dinner was fairly disappointing. The fried pickles were, instead of sliced pickles, baby pickles fried whole. The stuffed peppers had a strange after taste and the fried mashed potato bites were...interesting. The gravy was peppered with grainy chunks of something. After the apps, we all sat back stuffed and feeling a little woozy. You know - that feeling you get after eating a random assortment of too much food that also isn't good for you. Like a bad buffet. Even with all this being said - I was still siked for my meal. I could understand the place being a little overzealous on the appetizers to show variety, IF they then had solid entrees. Well. My burger, if it was or wasn't, definitely tasted like a  frozen patty. Our fries, supposed to be covered in queso, were covered in a sort of tomato sauce with grated cheese on top. Matt's chicken fried steak. besides being chicken fried chicken and not steak, was covered with that grainy gravy and served with, at least what tasted like, instant mashed potatoes.

Misty, the owner of the restaurant, is the cut out pictured above to the left of the kitchen pass through and was actually also in the restaurant. While we did definitely appreciate the concept of the place, we weren't wowed by the actual food. However, we smiled to her nicely on our way out - and may be yet still be back back for pie. They apparently had blueberry, apple, and pumpkin but we were WAY too full. However, judging by the other food offered at Misty's we might be better off cooking it on our own. So far that's really been the only sure fire way to fill our nostalgia and craving for food back home.

The final score board-
USA grocery store: Awesome.

USA restaurant: Still looking for a good one.